listening - p!nk, expletive deleted perfect
(tee hee).
So.
Barbados? I think that will be a lovely consolation prize if this whole job-I-have-poured-all-of-my-energy-into-hoping-for over the past week thing doesn't pan out. (The contingency plans and the moving plans and the maybe-not-moving plans and the sitting in my room just thinking oh, please, this is all I want to do.)
I am feeling mildly pessimistic. Actually, I am feeling incredibly pessimistic. I feel like the last seventeen days have beaten any semblance of a good attitude out of me. I am tired, and I am stressed, and I am pulling together enough energy most days to go to work and smile at patients and find the Excedrin Migraine and then come home and wash a few dishes and collapse into bed.
(I love Excedrin Migraine. I am in a passionate, drug-fueled relationship with it).
(This post not sponsored by Excedrin Migraine).
I need it to be sunnier. I need it to not be -29 when I wake up and -22 when I go for lunch and -27 as I head home. I need my poster to arrive from Etsy so I can put it up - it is so cute, it's a map of the circulatory system with a label reading 'you are here' over the heart. Letterpress.
If Barbados happens, however - my consolation prize for definitely not leaving Edmonton - it will be an excellent vacation. It's an all-expenses-paid trip for two (my plus one will most likely be an enthusiastic Savannah, having missed out, like me, on the Cuba trip last year) to the Almond Beach Village Resort where we will snorkel, drink, drink rum on a historical rum tour, swim, sit beside a pool, order room service, avoid opticians and generally have a grand old time. I never win things - this was a nice surprise! It's been a bright point in an otherwise dreary little while.
I sound like things have been unendingly grimy and depressing. They haven't - I have been almost too busy to be down, and this is stress and SAD and unceasing snow and cold and gray skies catching up with me. I look forward to brightening up in the near future.
Bedtime. I am le sleepy.
-rae
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