Incandescently Ridiculous

A lot changes in eleven months.

Despite my recent attempts to not dwell on the past, these past couple of weeks - and I'm feeling like the weeks to come will follow this pattern as well - have been like watching a movie of September and October of last year. Everything is giving me flashbacks. I can see buildings or smell something in the air or have the wind blow a certain way and I'm back there. It's a little bizarre, because it's not like I was in such a drastically different place at the end of last fall - physically - and maybe that's where these very vibrant memories are originating, the fact that I was not the same person eleven months ago. I'm glad for that. I am glad I have changed. I thrive on change, but looking back at my last year, in parts I just did what I had to do to get through it. It was not an easy year. I try and downplay that sometimes, because if I spend too much time remembering, it makes me sad. But this is my blog and I can be reminsc...y...if I want to.

Enumerating the number of things that have changed since then is not too long of a broad list, but the effects have been overwhelming, devastating, frustrating and amazing at times. Honestly? I wouldn't have changed a single thing if it would have changed where I have ended up. I think that's why I can replay all these already sepia-toned memories this fall - because I'm grateful to not be there anymore, and because I love where I am now.

-rae